It's Now Or Never
by Solus Nemo
Summary: I don't want to give too much away, so just read. Takes place after the season finale. One-shot.


**Title:** It's Now Or Never  
**Author:** Cara ("Solus Nemo")  
**Rating:** PG-13 to be safe (slight language, themes)  
**Summary:** I don't want to give too much away, so just read. Takes place after the season finale. One-shot.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Radio Free Roscoe and I never will. I am not doing this for any type of profit, this story has not/will not happen(ed) in real life. I only own the song Lily sings, "It's Now Or Never." It sucks, but it's mine.  
**Author's Note:** For a while now I've wanted to do a slash story, one revolving around Audrey and Lily. I still don't like Lily, but every time I see an episode I wonder what it would be like if Lily and Audrey "got together." This isn't that long, but it's long enough I feel. It's rather fluffly also, God help me.  
**"Warning":** If you are repulced by femslash and want nothing to do with it, stop reading now and hit the back button on your browser. Don't bitch and moan to me about this paring. It's my story and I shall do what I please.

===

Two weeks ago Lily Randall had set her pen down on her desk and sighed deeply. She knew that it was pointless after what she had done, but she wrote the song anyway. The reason why she wrote it was the same reason that was tearing Lily in half. She had kissed Travis not because she felt for him, but because she knew that the one person she really cared for would never feel the same. Lily had been living a lie for so long it became a game, one that had taken control. For a while she felt like she could fool everyone, including herself. For a while she felt like what she really was was just an ugly dream, one that was dead and gone.

But then Audrey found out, which threw Lily back into the real world. It reminded her who she was putting on the act for, who she needed more that the air she breathed. Lily's heart had shattered when she saw the look on Audrey's face, the hurt and betrayal. She had seen the light sucked out from Audrey's features, causing the beauty to become a shell of her former self; a perfect ceramic ballerina that had hit the ground and shattered.

Lily had hurt Ray too, but her tears were that of a best friend done wrong. She had cried because she had broken her best friend and love. Travis had kissed her again and Lily allowed it, only because she knew that Audrey was too far out of her grasp. The pain had tremored through her and, when she had opened her eyes, she had witnessed the world crumble around her. Audrey had fallen through the cracks, leaving Lily alone to wallow in her self-pity and screaming conscience.

Since those events Lily had been seemingly walking through water, everything around her deformed and unrecognizable. What once had caused her to smile now triggered the pathetic image of herself.

Today she was standing in the middle of the music room, griping the neck of Mr.Stevens's acoustic guitar to the point of faintly hearing it splinter. For days she had prodded Robbie into letting her do what she needed to do, and finally she had gotten her way. After school she was to go to the warehouse and play her song, playing the roles of both herself and Shady Lane. It wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. The cover story was going to be that Lily Randall was RFR's special guest, here to perform her new song and to perform her new song only. "It's too risky," Robbie had told her. "This little stunt could ruin RFR for good. What if people start asking you questions about us? What if they keep poking at you for details about the DJs?"

"If RFR falls, feel free to put the blame on me. I _need_ to do this, Robbie, do you understand?" Lily had replied, causing the camel's back to break. Reluctantly Robbie had nodded and started to go over plans on how to do this thing, to do it right.

Now there were only three minutes left until the bell rang. Her stomach was doing flips and she felt like he needed to throw up, but she stayed reserved. She raised her eyes and watched as her teacher placed Lily's electric guitar in a case and into a storage locker. She made a mental note to remember number 56. "Thank you again, Mr.Stevens. My electric guitar just doesn't make the right sound. You'll remember to listen to me, right?"

"Of course, of course," Mr.Stevens chuckled. "Don't worry, Lily, you will do fine. If you get nervous take deep breaths and imagine it's only practice." He scooted her out of the room with a smile as the final bell rang. "Remember to take it slow."

-

Her heart was pounding, it felt like it was going to break through her chest. Lily's performance was wedged in-between a song block, her introduction coming up very shortly. "I don't know if I can do this," she mumbled. She felt faint. Positioning herself at the edge of her chair, Lily held her guitar and tried not to pay attention to the headphones pulling at her hair. She tapped her foot slowly, telling herself over and over again to remain in that tempo. Her eyes stayed on her left hand so she would be able to keep track of what notes were being formed. Suddenly she panicked, forgetting what she was going to do. Lily swallowed thickly, "I've forgotten the song, I won't be able to—"

"Welcome back, listeners," Travis said warmly. "We have a very special guest for you today, the one and only Lily Randall!"

Ray grinned at her for good measure and leaned closer to his microphone, "She'll be performing her new single 'It's Now Or Never' any second now, so lean back in your seats and take a listen."

Travis tapped the console in front of him, signaling that everything was a go.

Lily took a deep breath. "This song goes out to a dear friend of mine, one I hope is listening to me ..." She said a quick prayer in her head and looked down, seeing her left hand form G. She started strumming, everything coming back to her the second the guitar pick scraped across the strings.

_"I wrote this song knowing that it will do no good,  
But I'm singing it to you, anyway.  
I know that you're switching the dial right now,  
And that's what I deserve.  
What I did was wrong,   
I know,  
But I just can't face who I am._

_The world stopped turning,  
All because you can't bear to look at me.  
The sun doesn't caress your hair,  
All because I'm the one,  
The one who caused your broken heart._

_Do you remember the day we first met?  
When I lied to you about myself,  
Just so you would speak to me.  
I wore that crappy outfit just to see you smile,  
To see those beautiful eyes shine._

_I don't care what people think,  
I'm sorry.  
I don't care about the rocks thrown,  
I'm in love with you.  
My life could end tomorrow,  
But you would be the last thing,  
I picture in my mind._

_Please forgive me,  
I was living a lie.  
Please forgive me,  
I knew you would hate me if you found out,  
About who I really am._

_The world stopped turning,  
All because you can't bear to look at me.  
The sun doesn't caress your hair,  
All because I'm the one,  
The one who caused your broken heart."_

The world was numb around her when she stopped, everything strangely silent. When she looked up she saw Robbie's lips moving, but it was like the sound had been turned off. Lily shook her head to clear her mind.

"—reat, Lily. The phone lines are open and Lily will be here to answer your calls, so pick up the phone and dial our number. Now back to the music, here's the new one from Blink-182." Robbie looked at Lily and gave her a thumbs up. He waited until Travis had turned off the microphones and switched on the music to say anything else. "God, Lily, that was amazing!"

She blushed, her reaction to Robbie's statement.

Ray said nothing, he sat in silence staring at Lily.

Travis cleared his throat. "Audrey's on line three. Maybe you should take it over here, Lily?"

Her brain couldn't seem to relay the message to the rest of her body to get up, so she had to force herself up like she used to when she was first learning to walk. She felt like lead as she entered Travis's booth and took the phone from his outstretched hand. It took years for the receiver to reach her ear, but eventually Lily was able to squeak out, "Audrey?"

"I was about to leave Mickey's when I heard you were going to sing, but I'm glad I stuck around," She explained. Her voice was like a smooth chunk of heaven, a sound only an angel could make.

"Uh-huh." Lily shut her eyes tightly, _"I'm such an idiot."_

Audrey laughed, sending Lily's heart to the clouds. She seemed to be crying and smiling at the same time. "The song was beautiful, Lily, absolutely marvelous."

Lily could have melted on the spot. All she could concentrate on was her and Audrey, anything else faded to black in the background. "Th-thank you. It means a lot to me for you to say that ... I mean—"

"The song was written for me, I could tell. It was like there were vibes coming through the radio. Why didn't you ever tell me you felt that way? It explains everything, even why I overreacted so. Don't tell me over the phone," Audrey added quickly, "We can go back to my house and talk. _Really_ talk. There are things I need to say to you too, a lot of things I never should have kept down."

She looked at Travis, then Robbie and Ray, who all pointed to the door and mouthed _go!_ Lily smiled wholeheartedly for the first time in weeks. "I'll be over in five minutes."


End file.
